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Post by patricksgurl90 on Nov 21, 2005 2:59:10 GMT -5
Hey ya'll i'm new and this is my first story.so bare with me okay(lol)
Intro:Hey everybody my names Gabrielle Bates but you can call me Gabby. My parents names are Shanel and Rick. I have 2 sisters Mara and Stephanie and 2 cuzins Kayla and Kameelah(they're sisters too).We've known the breedings since we were born because our parents are friends with their parents.We're also neighbors and live in Atl.
Cast
(19)Mike/Amanda aka Manda
(17)Dustin/Mara
(16)Kelly/Stephanie aka Steph
(15)Patrick/Me
(13)Carnell/Kayla aka Shy
(11)Bryan/Kameelah aka Meelah
(17)Mara-The oldest,she's crazy,funny,outgoing,sweet
(16)Steph-Second oldest,she's silly,funny,mean at times,lazy,cool,fun 2 be around,will get at u,think 2 much,pretty
(15)Me-Crazy,outgoing,smart,pretty,fun 2 be around,funny
(13)Shy-Younger cuz,she's sweet,crazy,funny,wanna be ghetto,smart,shy(not around friends),pretty
(11)meelah-Youngest cuz,she's smart,cute,funny,stand up for my people,humble
Chapter 1
My sisters,cuzins,and I are over chillin' at the breedings house,when Dustins cell rings.
Phone Convo:
M/V-Yo D man it's Mike, me and my girl are hosting a party up on 1453 Chestnut Avenue(made up) at 8:00.Ya brothers and they girls and you and yours come through
Dustin-Aight 1
Mike-1
(click)
Patrick-Dizzy who was that
Dustin-That was Mike,he want us to come to a party at 8:00 so ya'll get ready (its 7:00 now)
E/B-Aight
SKIP TO THE PARTY
Ya'll make it to the party and it's crazy.Music blastin' and people everywhere.Then Dustin sees mike and calls him over.
Convo:
E/B says hey and etc.
Mike-Whassup e/b glad ya'll could make it
E/B-same here
Then an hour into the party everyone was inside and then ya'll hear screams and then the lights go out.
The gurls-Ahhhhhhhhhhhh
All the boys except Patrick held their girls tight in their arms.When the lights come back on everybody else that was there was gone except for us,Mike,and Amanda.Patrick was gone and I started to cry.
Me-(crying)
E/B-What's wrong gabby
Me-(still crying)Patricks not here and i'm scared
just then we heard more screams and we followed them.
When we finally found Patrick he was cut up and cover in shattered glass.I then began to cry all over again,so while they were trying to calm me down Kelly called the ambulance.
Kelly convo:
ring ring
M/V-Hello
Kelly-We need a ambulance because my brother could be dieing right now
M/V-We're on own way
Kelly-Thanl you
Then kelly came back to tell us and I had calmed down some.
End of chapter 1
When you bump leave a comment instead of one or two bumps okay.I'll continue if you like my story.
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covergirl1004
b5 lover
hit me up to join the bad gurl team.....
Posts: 67
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Post by covergirl1004 on Nov 21, 2005 10:30:38 GMT -5
that was a good start gurl.....you made the readers notice the fact that even though they dont date..she still has feelings for him....GOOD JOB! KEEP U THA GOOD WORK!
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Post by patricksgurl90 on Nov 21, 2005 13:20:42 GMT -5
covergirl1004 me and patrick do go together
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Post by patricksgurl90 on Nov 21, 2005 13:22:37 GMT -5
This chapter may be boring so bare wit me
Chapter 2
When the ambulance arrived
M/V-So what happened here kids
Mikke-Well my girlfriend and I were hosting a party here and(interupted by Patrick)
Patrick-(weak)I don't mean any harm but I do need to get tothe hospital now you can find out what happened later
M/V-One of you may ride along
Me-(sniff)I(sniff)will
When we make it there I go to the waiting room to see everybody there crying.So I started to cry again then my mom rushed over to me.
Shantel(my mom)-Oh sweetie are you alright
Me-(crying)yes i'm okay but i'm worried about Patrick
Shantel-We all are honey but i'm glad you're alright
Me-(sniff)me too I (sniff)just hope (sniff)Patrick is
Mrs.B-Gabby sweetie what happened to my baby she said while crying
Me- Well Mrs.B really I don't know what happened because we heard sreaming then the lights went out and when they came back on he(started crying again)wasn't there.So when when we found him he was still conscious but weak, and that's all we know.
Mrs.B-Okay she said while giving we a big hug.
Then the doctor walked in with the results.I ran to him nearly knocking him over and asked
Me-Is Patrick Breeding alright doc
Doc-Are you the family of Mr. Breeding
E/B-Yes we are
Doc-Well I have some good news and bad news
Me-What's the good news
Doc-The good news is he's alive and well but he's a little weak.
Me-Now the bad news
Doc-The bad news is his left wrist and arm are broken, but you may go see him only one at a time in room #102
E/B-Thank doc
Mrs.B-gabby dear I want you to go first
Me-Are you sure Mrs.B
Mrs.B-Yes I'm sure
Me-Alright i'll be back
E/B-Aight
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Post by patricksgurl90 on Nov 21, 2005 13:55:32 GMT -5
This part is long and you might be bored after reading this chapter but its gone get betta
Chapter 3
IN PATRICKS ROOM(hospital room)
Me-(crying)OMG patrick look at you, how could I let this happen I said running to him.
Patrick-don't cry babygirl everything is going to be alright and its not your fault.
Me-well i'm just your alright
Patrick-me too, is everybody here
Me-Yes
(I break the silence)
Me- Patrick, can ask you something
Patrick-Yeah
Me-What happened to you exactly
Patrick-(sighs)Well, while we were at the party I had to go to the bathroom.So I went searching for it and while I was upstairs I went into this room because I heard a crash and when I went in I was hit over the head with something glass then I blacked out.
Me-Oh, but you know you have a broken wrist and arm right.
Patrick-Yeah, so I guess that means we can't do anything for a while if you know what I mean *wink*wink*
Me-(lol)You know you have a nasty mind baby
Patrick-(lol)I know
Soon everybody visits him and the visiting hours are over but doctor said one person can stay with him.
Me-So who's staying with Pat
E/B-(silence, because they want me to)
Me-Ok, so I guess i'll stay here but I need some clothes
Shantel-Baby I packed something for you just in case
Me-Aight (then she handed me the clothes and I went back to Pat's room)
Patrick was sleeping and even though he had cuts and bruises he was very cute.So I tried to get comfortable in the chair when Pat woke up.
Patrick-Hey baby what you doing here I thought visiting hours were over.
Me-I'm staying with you till you get out tomorrow,the doctor said I could.
Patrick-Oh
Patrick-So you sleeping in that chair tonight
Me-Yup.why?
Patrick-Cuz I want you to sleep with me
Me-Aight but first
Patrick-First what
Me-Slide ya big butt over(lol)
Patrick-(lol)My butt not as big as your
Me-(lol)You bette be glad I didn't know wether that was an insult or a compliment
Patrick-You know I love ya baby
Me-I luv you too, but i'm really glad you
Patrick-Me too now lets go to sleep
Me-Aight
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Post by bryansbabygurl924 on Nov 21, 2005 16:42:40 GMT -5
ooh this is good bummp
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Post by patricksgurl90 on Nov 21, 2005 23:20:02 GMT -5
Should I write a chapter 4.If so give me three to five bumps
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Post by bryansbabygurl924 on Nov 22, 2005 16:20:03 GMT -5
bump bump bump bump bump i looove ure story
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Post by ~Mizz~Fizzle~SO~FLy05~ on Nov 22, 2005 18:28:49 GMT -5
bump it bump it bump it
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Post by patricksgurl90 on Nov 22, 2005 20:11:42 GMT -5
Chapter 4
The next morning.
Patrick-(walking out the hospital saying)I'm Free,I'm Free,I'm Free at last
Me-(lol)Boy you crazy
Patrick-that's why you love me
Me-I sure do
Mrs.B-(She was the one who picked us up)Awwwww
Back at the house WIT MEELAH AND BRYAN
Bryan-Meelah, have you ever kissed someone
Meelah-My mom,dad,and sister that's it.Have you?
Bryan-My mom,well you wanna try it
Meelah-Sure,you not gonna cheat on me are you
Bryan-No way,I love you to much and plus your my girl,not anyone else
So they been kissing for a good 15 seconds until shy+carnell catches them.(For all you nasties it was a regular kiss no tongue)
Shy-(shocked but not mad)What are you doing Meelah
Meelah-Scared and wiping her mouth.Nothing Shy we were just talking
S+C(shy and carnell)-No you wasn't
S+C-Woah.....That was weird
S+C-Stop that
S+C-laughing
Bryan and Meelah left while they were laughing.Shy stopped laughing when she noticed Bryan and Meelah were gone, but Carnell was still laughing so she slapped his upside his head.
Carnell(holding his head)Ow baby,what was that for
Shy-For being slow,they left
Carnell-Oh
Shy-(lol)That's why I love you
Carnell-Oh so you love me eh, he said smiling all sexy
Shy-I don't know I might take it back
Carnell-(fake crying)So you don't love me
Shy-Of course I(cut off by carnell giving her a passionate kiss)
Carnell-So what you(cut off by shy giving carnell a passionate kiss)
Shy+Carnell were still kissing when Bryan and Meelah bust in the room
Bryan+Meelah-Busted
S+C-(blushing and stopped kissing)
Shy-So you caught us now lets go back downstairs
When came downstairs all eyes were on them
B,M,S,C-Wat
Steph+Mara-What were ya'll doing
S,C,B,M-Nothing
S,C,B,M-Stop that
E/B-Laughing
K,D,C,B-We can't wait for them to get back
S,S,M,M-Us too
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Post by bryansbabygurl924 on Nov 23, 2005 14:34:15 GMT -5
bump it up
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Post by (:~Nicia~:) on Nov 26, 2005 10:57:21 GMT -5
Bumpies
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Post by *Dustin's~Boo~Tajah* on Nov 26, 2005 21:04:26 GMT -5
BUMP BUMP
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Post by writingprincess on Nov 28, 2005 18:15:17 GMT -5
bump
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Post by patricksgurl90 on Nov 29, 2005 21:10:23 GMT -5
Chapter 5
(note:patrick been home for about two weeks now)Mrs.B at work.Carnell,Shy,Bryan, and Meelah leave and go to the park.
It was just me,patrick,steph,kelly,mara, and dustin out in the pool until kelly says.......
Kelly:Me+Steph finna go andle some business in my room right quick
Steph:Yeah, we'll be back
Then they run off leaving us in the pool until Dustin jumps out and pulls Mara out and say.......
Dustin:Come on Mara let's go to my room
Mara:No, we ain't finna do(gets cut off by dustin whispering some thing in her ear)
Mara:Come on boy she says as she pulls him away
Now its just me and patrickleft.
Patrick:Let's go see what they doing, and on three we bust in
Me:Aight
We go to Kelly room first
P+G(patrick and gabby):1.....2.....3.....
"BOOM"
Steph covering her self up while Kelly shouting at us to get out
Kelly:Man get out my room before I beat ya head in
Then as we close the door we here this....
Steph:Kelly baby go deeper
Then I say
Me:dang they were fa real I thought they were playing
Patrick:me too, now Dustin's room
P+G:1.....2.....3.....
"BOOM"
Dustin and Mara jumped and covered themselves under the covers they were on
Dustin:WTF man Patrick get out my room before I hit you so hard you fly to last week.
Then as we close the door to his room we hear
Dustin:(out of breath but still going)Say my name
Steph:(out of breath too)DUSTIN Ahhhhhhhhh
P+G:Danng
When its about 2 hours later they come downstairs(nasties lol)
Me:Well, its good to see ya'll again "with" clothes lol
Patrick:lol yeah, those were nasty sites
Then me and Patrick start to stare at them in silence
D+K+S+M:WAT
Me:(whispering to patrick)Kelly baby go deeper
Both of us:laughing
Patrick:(whispering to me)Say my name
Me:(whispering back)DUSTIN Ahhhhhhhh
Both of us:laughing
Then they slap us upside our heads
Both of us:Owww, what was that for
D+K+M+S:For being stupid
E/B:Laughing
Bump it up and write a comment of what you think
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Post by (:~Nicia~:) on Dec 1, 2005 16:09:02 GMT -5
LMFAO, Bumpies
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Post by missashl3y on Dec 18, 2005 16:19:42 GMT -5
bump it up
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Post by Sara on Dec 31, 2005 18:04:02 GMT -5
I love this story please read as soon as possible
oh yea Bumpies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. I am a newcomer
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DONT YALL HATE ON HIM
